my (first) entry for the Sparks McGee caption contest.

i can’t tell if it’s funny because i’ve been in way too much pain all day.

sparksmcgeeadventures:

Submitted by someone else. Sorry, I lost the name D:>

girlunafraid:

Not only did I get to meet Wil Wheaton today, but I also got the first ever Sparks McGee signed anything, complete with Wil-drawn cowboy hat and Trans Am. TAKE THAT, INTERNET!

sarah got either food poisoning or the flu last night, and has literally spent all day in bed, mostly asleep. i’m watching star trek to pass the time and keep her company. (Taken with Instagram at The Apartment)

theelkmechanic:

 I’ve killed women and children. I’ve killed just about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another. And I’m here to kill you, Little Data, for what you did to my Trans Am.

i think what i love most about this is that, no matter how bad ass sparks is, he still doesn’t want his mom to be ashamed of him.

odesession:

A Re-Ode to Sparks McGee, Wesley Crusher’s alter ego
(A sequel to this ode)

It was to Wesley Crusher I was originally smitten,
But then, overnight, his personality was rewritten.
He rounded a corner in a sweet cowboy hat,
and since he was shirtless, we could all see his tat:
it’s a dragon humping a shark, inked down his spine.
Hot damn, how can I make this Sparks guy all mine?

Flying through the air with his shrewd intellect,
he’s running from the vagina he just wrecked.

With an air of cool calm, he pulled out his phaser,
with eyes of confidence that cut like a razor,
and shot a random passerby with nary a blink.
For what kind of reason, I dare not even think.
That McGee kills some to keep others on their toes…
He winked at me once and it dissolved all my clothes.

Oh Sparks, I promised myself I would never submit
to the Bad Boy that reeks of rebellion and grit.
But one look at your face, and at those sweaters too,
I would jump in the backseat of your Trans Am with you.
We’d ride down to Ten Forward and punch Riker in the face
Just to knock that beard off and show him his place!

And when Worf sends security to make sure you’re caught,
you’ll just laugh, wink, and say, “I got a course you can plot.
It’s the course of my foot kicking your Klingon ass!”
In a sign of surrender, he’ll just bow as you pass.
You’ll be walking away from an explosion in slow motion
never once looking back or showing any emotion.

You’ll stop by Deanna’s office on your way to the top
though she feels your intentions, she doesn’t say, “Stop.”
You can take her however and whenever you wanna
and when done, you say, “Meh, you’re no Lwaxana.”
A man like McGee can never be tamed
leaving a trail of women both sated and shamed.

Here on the bridge the final showdown takes place,
the destinies of Picard and McGee interlace.
You face off like cowboys, a duel at high noon,
causing men to tear up and women to swoon.
A flash of your hands, such a bloody tableau,
you smirk as you say, “I just made it so.”

After kicking Picard’s dead body aside
you sit in your new chair, head high with pride.
Such virile aura, never a wrong order to rescind,
I just got pregnant by merely standing downwind!
So I’m sorry I ever admitted to loving Wesley,
please make me the future Ex Mrs. McGee.

(Special thanks to The Adventures of Sparks McGee for inspiration!)

wilwheaton:

dangerousdaysart:

Had to do one more Sparks McGee image before I start working on my book again.

I like to think that in an alternate version of “The Naked Now” Sparks McGee takes over the engine room because he does whatever the hell he wants and not because of some weird Polywater intoxication? And then everyone else on the ship is like, “Whoa… that guy’s badass, I should be more badass!” And then they all do really awesome things except for Shimoda, who for some reason still thinks removing the data chips from their ports is badass… but no, it’s still annoying.

This. Is. Brilliant.

(via Starfleet Commander Set of all 3 | Tainted Visions)

wilwheaton:

No, you don’t get context. If you want it, you can track it down. I believe in you, Internet.